This year I want to improve my Norwegian. Thus far, I’ve been too tired for my Pimsleur lessons and too busy to attend a language course. Instead, I’ve been watching documentaries about Norwegian Olympic hopefuls on the national TV station, NRK. These shows are preferable to NRK’s primetime lineup, which seems no better than TV at home; it includes a reality show about wooden boats, something called Nuclear Power: A dance with death?, and an informational program about genitals.
Fortunately, this blog has a storied tradition of Olympic previews, and so I’m happy to pass facts about the Norwegian Olympic team along to you, as told to me in a language I do not really understand.
The Norwegian Olympic team has a lot to be proud of. They excel at the winter Olympics, where they are consistently the highest medal earners; in 2022 they won 37 of the 208 awarded (18%), or one for every 147,000 residents. To put that in perspective, at the last summer Olympics the US won 113 of the 2,402 medals awarded (4.7%), or one for every 2.9 million residents.
Norway is good at the summer Olympics too, and we invite you to follow along with us. Here are the stars and story lines to watch.
Jakob Ingebrigtsen
Reality TV shows: 2
Jakob had a breakout performance on the track at the 2020 games, winning gold in the 1500 meters. He has since cultivated a public persona and starred in a Kardashian-style reality TV show with his six siblings (a second show is forthcoming). The family drama is not all fabricated; Jakob and his brothers were formerly coached by their father, who they publicly disavowed last fall for “aggression, control, and physical violence” on and off the track.
His training methods have launched a global fitness fad, which involves being pricked in the ear to measure lactate levels.
Narve Gilje Nordås
Raw milk consumption: Daily
Also a middle-distance runner, Narve is in many ways the opposite of Jakob: he lives in the country, trains on the beach, and prefers quiet to the reality show spotlight. In a recent profile on NRK, he confessed that he hates trips to the grocery store and hardly interacts with other people, especially in Olympic season. Instead, he goes to a local farm several times a week for fresh cow’s milk.
Narve has never beaten Jakob in head-to-head competition but recently broke his Norwegian record in the 5000 meters — while being coached by Jakob’s dad. Awkward!
Karsten Warholm
Raw milk consumption: None
Why not: He is sponsored by Norway’s state-run milk company, which pasteurizes.
He is the reigning Olympic champion in the 400 meter hurdles and a favorite to win this year too.
Jon-Hermann Hegg
Norwegian: No?
Irishman Jon-Hermann competes for Norway, for reasons I can’t deduce with my limited Norwegian. Going into his second Olympics, he is a top-flight shooter with 25 medals in international competitions. If he wins, it will prove that Norway can dominate shooting sports that don’t also involve skiing.
Men’s and women’s team handball
Possible downfall: processed seafood
Handball is the only team sport the Norwegians are competing in. We are personally a bit nervous about Norwegian team sports, as the top news from from Trondheim this week is that the match between local professional team Rosenberg BK and rival Lillestrom was suspended after fans started throwing fish cakes on the field to protest a refereeing decision. The handball teams need to be wary of similar antics from fans, which could knock them out of contention.
Go Norway!
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