We are out of ideas to entertain this child

Norway is on vacation. It’s likely that our American readers don’t really understand what this statement means. What we mean is, Norway is on vacation. The hospitality industry. The university. The immigration office. The police. The military. The landlords who could answer questions about our apartment. The administration who could fix our gym memberships. Customer support at Norwegian HBO Max. And, crucially, the daycare.

Like many things about Norway, this is completely delightful and awesome for people who are here and settled. “Essential workers” be damned, everybody gets time off! Everybody goes to the mountains! This is, undoubtedly, a strong statement of great national values. However, it may not have been the best time to move here, as there’s nobody around to answer questions about much of anything, or to entertain our child. The first of those may be the bigger problem, but this post is about the second.

Until day care starts back up again, we have about 10 hours a day to fill for Annalise’s amusement, split into “before nap” and “after nap” blocks. She has no friends here yet, and we don’t have many more (because everyone’s on vacation), so this is pure mommy and daddy time. Most weekdays, Allison takes the morning, and I take the afternoon, and we work during the other’s block. Below are the things we have found to do, presented in order of increasing desperation:

“The Bells” Playground

The city has a fantastic playground down by the river in a public park. This playground is near the Cathedral and its bells; Annalise has been pretty fascinated by the bells, imbuing them with an increasing level of animism (including her oft-stated intention to invite them for dinner, where everyone will eat “bars” and watermelon).

The playground is more dangerous, and thus more fun, than most playgrounds at home, including a very large slide, several climbing structures, swings, and a merry-go-round. It’s also very international for some reason, featuring a lot of families not speaking Norwegian.

Fun fact: when this slide is wet, a child will reach the speed of light and skid at least 10 feet along the ground from the slide exit. That child will be alarmed.

This playground is a 10-minute walk from our apartment if Annalise rides in the backpack. If she is allowed to walk herself, it takes three hours.

The school playground

Though her daycare isn’t open, we’ve been taking her to her future school to play so at least the facilities won’t be new. Along with a climbing structure (which Annalise calls “the spider”), it has swings, a small soccer field, a couple slides, a sandbox, and several berry bushes which Annalise is gradually denuding.

This too is about a 10 minute walk away. If Annalise rides along on her scooter, you may go so slow as to go backwards in time and never get there at all.

Pirbadet

Of course when it’s raining hard, a playground is less palatable. One indoor option is Pirbadet, a huge indoor pool/water slide/sauna/wave pool/lazy river thing with a great view of the fjord. Annalise loves it, has no fear, and is convinced she can swim independently, though she demonstrably cannot. It is not cheap.

Leo’s Lekeland

Leo’s is a huge indoor playground. On a rainy day it is very crowded, hot, humid, and smells like feet and farts. Annalise loves it. We took one step inside and immediately bought an annual pass. It is also a long bus ride away, further burning clock (Annalise loves bus rides). It is very safe for her but she won’t play on her own, so it is only a matter of time until I lose a leg trying to fit into a tube.

The beach

Trondheim, being on a fjord, has a long stretch of beach. It is lovely, rocky, and cold. Annalise likes to iterate back and forth between standing in the water and throwing rocks (for which she must not wear shoes) and climbing on the rocks (for which she must wear shoes).

Jumping in puddles

Here is where our time-wasters become a little more improvisational. Annalise loves a puddle, and Norway’s got ’em. We can fill an hour with this, easy.

Shopping

The nearest grocery store has a child-sized cart. Annalise has largely learned not to assault herself and other shoppers with it.

Floor toys

We have room in our apartment floor for about two toys, a small Brio train set and some Duplos. Fun fact: building Duplo towers for more than an hour will make your brain try to escape out your ears.

Watching the digger

The house next door is being demolished. It can be attentively watched from either the street or our apartment window. Due to Annalise’s attention, I have made friends with the operator, though he continues to wildly overestimate my ability to understand Norwegian.

Literally just taking any bus to any place with escalators

Daycare starts August 1!