Roller skis!

We have not yet received a decision about our Norwegian residency application. However, if the authorities reviewed our latest credit card purchases, they would find evidence of our complete and obvious commitment to the Nordic way of life.

What have we purchased? Roller skis!

Roller skis are to cross-country skis what rollerblades are to ice skates. You use them to train for skiing during the summer months. They are awesome!

But don’t you need to know something about cross-country skiing in order to roller ski? The answer to that question is yes. Do we know anything about cross-country skiing? The answer to that question is no. Well, was no until last weekend. (Still is mostly no.)

We have overcome several hurdles to become roller skiers.

First of all, you have to buy roller skis — you can’t rent them. Which is too bad, because it seems like the type of thing that you’d like to try before you commit. I set off last Friday to inquire about rentals, and pretty much discovered that renting roller skis in Trondheim would be akin to renting a swimsuit in America, or maybe a baseball mitt. It is apparently a ridiculous suggestion and not an option.

I made an important discovery during my recon though: you can use the same accessories (boots, poles, etc.) with roller skis that you use with cross-country skis. That makes sense. We are planning to buy cross-country skis, so the marginal cost of a pair of roller skis to complement our other gear seemed like a worthwhile investment.

With that knowledge, we set off on Saturday morning for the local XXL sporting goods store, where an employee asked which type we wanted – “classic” or “skating.”Apparently there are two types of cross-country skiing. If you don’t know the difference, you will out yourself as ignorant and definitely un-Norwegian.

We sheepishly told her that we did not know the difference, or as Gavin so aptly put it, “we are your least informed customers.” “Okay!” she replied, with a bemused smile that said both that she thought we were endearing (I hope) and that she was going to tell this story later. “You will do classic skiing,” she informed us.

If the Norwegian authorities are reading this right now, they may conclude that we shouldn’t be allowed to stay, because we lack even a basic comprehension of their national pastime. (By comparison, we make candidates for American citizenship correctly name the thirteen original colonies and describe federalism, which seems way harder.) But please read on, Utlendingsdirektoratet – we redeem ourselves.

We’ve since learned that classic is the original style where skis run parallel. The wheels have “ratchets” on them to prevent you from rolling backward. Skating requires more balance and doesn’t have ratchets, which is probably why we were steered away from it. Here are some videos demonstrating the two styles in case you’re curious.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sEOCa-O73k&w=560&h=315]

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfjxIN1s2RQ&w=560&h=315]

As an aside – check out the sharp tips on these poles. The XXL employee assured us they are for asphalt, with a separate set of tips to be used on snow.

We probably need some covers for these.

Nevertheless, she was extremely helpful, and we left the XXL with two pairs of roller skis, two pairs of poles, two helmets, and one pair of boots.

My gear.

Why one pair of boots? Because my husband is shaped like a giraffe.

Gavin gets custom-made clothes in Vietnam.

One of the givens of being married to Gavin is that we almost always have to check a bag at the airport. If Gavin has to bring even one change of shoes, a carry-on bag is out of the question. So, despite its name, the XXL does not carry boots larger than a size 47 (American size 14), nor do any of the 3 sporting goods stores at the same mall, nor do most places on the Internet.

Gavin’s hiking boots are 12.4 inches long and weigh 1.8 pounds each.

This meant Gavin had exactly one option for boots, which hopefully will be delivered soon from some German online retailer on amazon.co.uk. But it meant we both couldn’t go roller skiing that day.

But I really wanted to try them! First, however, I had to get the boots attached to the roller skis. This is harder than it looks, especially because googling how to attach boots to roller skis turns up exactly zero relevant hits. I spent about an hour trying to figure it out.

This piece lifts up! That’s what I was missing.

It was finally time. This is my first attempt. Before you watch it, please know that I have not yet fallen, and all limbs are intact.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtCFjIQytns&w=560&h=315]

I’m happy to tell you that I’ve improved quite dramatically over the past week, and that Gavin’s boots are on track to be delivered soon. I can also tell you that the construction workers next door appear to be highly amused by my repeated back and forth along the same 30 yards of flat asphalt in front of our house. Whatever.

In all seriousness, it’s super fun, and I feel like we’ll be in good shape for ski season. And to the Norwegian authorities – if you are reading this, I hope you can see the great lengths we’ve taken to assimilate into your culture!

Post Script: The Toppidrettsveka roller skiing championships will be in Trondheim in mid-August. We will be there and report back. I’m not sure what level of roller skiing this is, but one of the competitors is an American cross-country skiing Olympian, so presumably it will be a high level of competition. Here’s a preview:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5bEOcieVB0&w=560&h=315]